I just don't care anymore
Growing up and old in patriarchy is not easy. As a teenager feeling far out from what a woman was supposed to be, I was constantly being put on 'the straight path' by my family, educators, boyfriends, even by my female friends. I was too loud and too visible, I was too agressive for a girl. I would evaluate my gender in percents : some days, I felt like I was 20% a girl, some days maybe 70%. I didn't know the word queer.
This project started taking portraits of friends around me, then strangers, mostly in their habitat, trying to reconcile the idea of what being a woman implies for me, exploring the variety of femininity as endless possibilities. They are as many femininities as they are women*.
Through the intimacy of the female gaze, I want to challenge the perception of contemporary women* as through media we are constantly objectified and taught how to look or behave to be valid. The idea of femininity is purely a social and a cultural construct. It doesn’t exist, for many it’s a vague and harmful concept, especially for the women* who don’t fit the criteria that is constantly redefined.
I just don’t care anymore is a diary of women identifying and non binary persons who challenge society's codex by creating their own sense of self outside the tiny boxes made by men. Because it's important to portray people in their own truth, beyond restrictive binaries that are unfit to their complexities.
Showing that femininity, like masculinity, is just a performance, conscious or unconscious.
-work in progress-
The asterisk I use on the word women* stands for inclusivity of everyone identifying as a woman.
The first time I met Margot they appeared to me as a bathroom fairy. It was a new year's eve party in the suburbs of Paris, and they were staying away from people, sitting on the bath tub, dressed in a puffy purple dress that made them look like an apparition from Alice in Wonderland. I felt a bit displaced as well and we bonded over our boredom.
"I feel neither male nor female. Physically I ended up being aware that I would be seen as feminine, and it will always surprise me. My thoughts have no gender, no sex. I live more in my head than in my body, I am more my thoughts than my body. All these stories about gender and sex are so estranged to me. Sometimes flesh seems so superficial to me, but I have to live in it. I have to deal with other people's gaze on it. It feels like a prison of flesh with the cage of people's judgement on top of it. I can't control people's gaze. Whatever appearance I would give myself, I would be seen for what I am not".